TV Quotes

Rose: So I don't know what to do. I tried to convince Myra that he's just a friend, but she wouldn't listen. She won't accept the divorce. I feel threatened.
Sophia: Oh, please, that's no threat. Where I come from, when someone wanted to make a point, they'd tie a string around your finger. Well, come to think of it, it wasn't a string, it was a piano wire. Actually, it wasn't your finger, it was your neck. Anyway, it was very popular. In fact, piano wire was our village's second biggest export. You know what our biggest export was?
Both: No.
Sophia: Too bad. I don't remember either. My God, I've left brain cells all over the Eastern Seaboard.

Dorothy: I have some news. I told my mother about us.
Stan: You're kidding? How did she take it?
Dorothy: Pretty well.
Stan: Chest pains?
Dorothy: You remember.
Stan: Hey, you don't forget your wedding day.

Blanche: You don't have to worry about me. I never get sick. I take very good care of myself. I treat my body like a temple.
Sophia: Yeah, open to everyone, day or night.

Rose: I don't drink before bedtime. I stop all liquids at noon and I still wake up.
Sophia: I never have that problem. Never. I sleep like a log. I never get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom. I go in the morning. Every morning like clockwork, at 7 am I pee. Unfortunately, I don't wake up till 8.