Sophia Quote #730
Quote from Sophia in The Artist
Sophia: Dorothy, I'm glad you're home. I was just upstairs poking around the attic and look what I found. Your grandmother's antique kaleidoscope. Here. Take a look.
Dorothy: Ma, you must really think I'm stupid.
Sophia: What, we don't have an attic?
Dorothy: I am not falling for this. It's another one of your practical jokes. If I look through that, I'll get charcoal around my eye.
Sophia: All right, Dorothy. Fine. Why don't we just call a truce with a nice piece of peanut brittle?
Dorothy: Come on, Ma. The peanut brittle is an even older gag than the kaleidoscope. I'll open the can, snakes will come out. Honey, face it, I am too smart for you. I am not falling for more of your practical jokes.
[As Dorothy sits down, an expulsion of air is heard]
Dorothy: Except for this whoopee cushion.
[Sophia opens the can of peanut brittle and enjoys a bite]
The Golden Girls Quotes
‘The Artist’ Quotes
Quote from Sophia
Dorothy: Ma, you don't have any clothes on.
Sophia: Tell me about it. I just walked ten blocks. I got a belly button full of tweed.
Dorothy: Ma, what the hell happened?
Sophia: In the middle of bingo, Murray Hazeltine sits down. He's the big practical joker at the center. Believe me, Howie Mandel is funnier. Anyway, he tells me to sniff his carnation for good luck. I take one whiff, and bingo.
Dorothy: He squirted your dress with ink.
Sophia: Actually, it was Del Monte prune juice. It's free at the center. It's a come-on. They make their real money on the powdered toilet seat rentals.
Dorothy: So what happened to your clothes?
Sophia: Murray took them to have them cleaned. Dorothy, I still can't believe it happened. I've never been so humiliated.
Dorothy: Ma, honey, there's no reason for you to be embarrassed. He plays tricks on everybody.
Sophia: I'm talking about on my way home. My belt came loose in front of a construction site. Nobody whistled, and two guys went home sick.
Quote from Sophia
Dorothy: Ma, why don't you sit right over here and read your magazine, okay?
Sophia: Oh. Okay. [sits down without a sound] Don't try to outsmart me, Dorothy. I got the mind of a fox and the butt muscles of Baryshnikov.
Quote from Rose
Rose: Sophia, what are you doing with that heavy coat on inside the house?
Sophia: You tell me, Rose.
Dorothy: Ma!
Rose: Dorothy, was Sophia naked just now, or does her dress really need ironing?