Rose Quote #287
Quote from Rose in Before and After
Rose: Look, I know it sounds crazy. That's why I wouldn't tell anybody but my two closest friends. But it's true. It really is. I died and went to heaven. Well, it wasn't actually heaven proper. It was somewhere on the outskirts.
Blanche: You died and went to a suburb of heaven?
Rose: No. No, it was an enormous train station. Like Grand Central, only cleaner. And without Hare Krishnas asking for money. There were people everywhere, rushing off to catch trains, sitting on benches, browsing in the souvenir shop.
Blanche: The souvenir shop?
Dorothy: Of course, Blanche. They were all buying T-shirts. You know, the ones that say, "Today is the first day of the end of your life."
Rose: And at the information desk was this huge train schedule. And next to every departure, it said, "Destination Heaven". My first thought was, "Gee, what a great title for a movie". My second thought was, "Damn. I'm dead". Well, I was so stunned, I just started wandering aimlessly through this train station, when I heard a familiar voice calling, "Wose. Wose. Is that weally you?" It was my Uncle Johannsen. He died when I was nine years old. A steam shovel hit him in the mouth. Oh, I was so happy to see a familiar face.
Blanche: Well, at least from the nose up.
Rose: Right. Anyway, Uncle Johannsen asked to see my ticket. And he said, "Whoa. Wose, this is a wound-twip ticket. You can go back and continue to live your life. But before you go, I have two pieces of advice. Don't get hit in the mouth with a steam shovel, that can kill you. And make the most of the time you're given. You'd be surpwised how quickly it goes."
The Golden Girls Quotes
‘Before and After’ Quotes
Quote from Sophia
Sophia: Let me tell you two a story.
Dorothy & Blanche: No.
Sophia: A short story.
Dorothy & Blanche: No.
Sophia: An anecdote. I won't take no for an answer. Picture this. Ninety-year-old twins, Ralph & Nunzio, sitting on a park bench. Ralph says to Nunzio, "Hey, whatever happened to that streaking craze?" And Nunzio says, "What streaking craze?" And Ralph says, "Remember, when everybody took off their clothes and ran down the street." So Nunzio says, "Hey, that sounds like fun. I think I'll do it right now." So, at 90 years old, he gets naked and goes off down the street, right past these two old ladies, Carlotta and Maria. Maria turns to Carlotta and says, "What the hell was that?" And Carlotta says, "I don't know, but whatever it was, it sure needs ironing."
Dorothy: Ma, what's the point?
Sophia: With a story, you get a point. With an anecdote, pure entertainment.
Quote from Sophia
Blanche: Now, who in hell was that?
Dorothy: Another one of Rose's new friends.
Blanche: Friends? They're more like animals. All they do is party and carry on all hours of the night. I am abhorred.
Sophia: We know what you are, Blanche. I'm glad to hear you finally admit it.
Blanche: Sophia, I said abhorred.
Sophia: A whore, a slut, a tramp, it's all the same.
Dorothy: Ma, we're talking about Rose.
Sophia: Yeah, lately she's been a whore, too.
Quote from Blanche
Dorothy: Ma got a letter from Gina Marie Donatelli. Her cousin Joe is hanging new wallpaper in Tony Bennett's guest bathroom.
Rose: Oh, I love Tony Bennett.
Blanche: Oh, so do I. He was always so sweet to me.
Dorothy: Blanche, you dated Tony Bennett?
Blanche: Honey, I did more than date him. He may have left his heart in San Francisco, but he left his shorts on my radiator.
Rose: You're kidding.
Blanche: Hell, no. Picture this...