Coach Mellor: Come Friday, all of you will be doing the state-mandated mile run. Here's how it works. You run a mile, I time you, then I inform the state of how alarmingly inert the modern child has become.

Adam: Question? Why is the state so determined to make us move our bodies?
Dave Kim: Yeah, why focus on us?
Dan: It's like, what are they running from?
Coach Mellor: This run is not up for debate. It is law written clear as day in the state's constitution.
Adam: Balls. You've won this round, Pennsylvania, but you've messed with the wrong inactive citizen.

Beverly: What?! How can they force you to run when your bones are still growing?! Excessive movement stunts your growth.
Adam: That's what I said!
Beverly: Well, don't you worry, because mama will run a million miles to help her baby not run one.
Adam: Just for that, I'm handing out free sugar. Get in here and grab a lump.
Beverly: Ooh! You love it. You love it.