Adult Adam: [v.o.] Back in the '80s, my sister, Erica, and Geoff Schwartz had quite the love story. From friends to lovers to exes and lovers again, all culminating in an epic proposal. Finally, the wedding was here.
Erica: It's nice.
Geoff: Peaceful.
Erica: Are we in the right place?
Geoff: And to think I was worried your mom would do something crazy. I mean, the Harlem Globetrotters were at your brother's bar mitzvah. Curly Neal dribbled the entire service.
Erica: Well, I guess she finally heard us. People really can grow and change.
Beverly: Tech rehearsal starts now! We are two days out. I want to see sweaty bodies and high knees.
Erica: What's happening? Why do we need a tech rehearsal?
Beverly: I just added a few flourishes to the ceremony. Wardrobe!
Erica: The wardrobe is my wedding dress.
Beverly: No, that's your fourth change, so go ahead and put on these processional outfits and let's do this.

Beverly: Cherry blossoms! Flutter! Now!
Geoff: How did that happen?
Beverly: Six men are living in those trees full-time. They pee in buckets. Fire-eaters, you should be lit by now!
Erica: Mom, we have to talk about this!
Beverly: One step ahead of you. We need more. Way more. And where the hell are my acrobats?
Adult Adam: [v.o.] Yep, those guys were there, too. My mom left nothing out.
Geoff: This looks expensive.
Beverly: Where the hell did my mom go?
Geoff: Something tells me that giant clamshell is gonna clue us in.
Beverly: Here's my big reveal! [vocalizes]

Adult Adam: [v.o.] It was March 2nd, 1980-something, and my mom had turned my sister's wedding into a literal freak show. Erica was coming undone.
Erica: It's all too much. I think I'm losing it.
Geoff: I've never seen you like this. It's like all your sarcastic, tough-girl energy has been sucked away and replaced with nervous anxiety.
Erica: Oh, God! I'm you!
Geoff: You're me!
Erica: We can't have two yous!
Geoff: I know. One me is too many!