Barry Quote #1329
Quote from Barry in An Itch Like No Other
Dr. Reese: Here's the instructions for his care, and I can't believe I have to say this... Don't rub strange plants on your delicate areas.
Barry: I'll be a doctor, too, soon. [Dr. Reese exits]
Geoff: So, Barry, just to make sure I understand, you want us to help you?
Barry: You're my only choice. Joanne can't know. And I can't ask Mom, 'cause based on prior experiences with ointment, she'd be too eager to help.
Erica: But why us?
Barry: You two dopes are the most responsible people I know. Please? I can't do this on my own. [baby voice] Pwease. Take cawr uv baby Bewwy.
Erica: That doesn't work the way you think it does.
Geoff: Come on, Erica. He looks at us like Mom and Dad.
Erica: [sighs] Pass around the cigars. We're the proud parents of a 210-pound, ten-ounce bundle of idiocy.
Barry: And I promise to make it easy as possible.
Erica: I doubt that.
The Goldbergs Quotes
‘An Itch Like No Other’ Quotes
Quote from Mr. Glascott
Mr. Glascott: Howdy, neighbor.
Beverly: What time is it?
Mr. Glascott: It is 6:31 in the glorious morning. One minute after neighborhoods across the globe officially open for biz.
Beverly: It's barely light outside.
Mr. Glascott: You know, I used to live overlooking a limestone quarry. That giant, watery pit held so many mysteries. And, for some reason, a Safeway shopping cart.
Beverly: The street lights are still on.
Mr. Glascott: I made strudel. Be careful cutting it. My first rent check is baked inside.
Beverly: That's fun, I guess.
Mr. Glascott: Oh, it was an accident. You know what? Let's plate it before the caramel smudges the ink.
Quote from Barry
Erica: Do you really have to lay there like that, with your butt hovering in the air?
Barry: Well, ever since you overinflated my medical pillow, my options for comfort are limited.
Erica: [sighs] I never thought I would miss looking at your face.
Barry: And there's a new issue. The pain is now an itch. [groans] An itch like no other.
Erica: You heard the doctor. Scratching will prolong the healing, and nobody wants that.
Barry: Just give me a slotted spoon? A balloon whisk? A seafood fork? A grapefruit spoon? A melon baller? One of those little things you hold corn with? Anything!
Erica: Ew! You're a little too familiar with the scratching power of our silverware.
Quote from Beverly
Murray: With a grill like this, I can't have my lady cooking just for me. She'll cook for the whole block.
Beverly: It's the life I've always dreamed of! [grunts] We'll host every weekend and invite all our friends, but we'll always exclude one couple, hmm? Everyone will be in a permanent state of social anxiety. Yay!