Adam: Coach Mellor! Please tell me you forced Chad to be partners with Dave Kim.
Coach Mellor: Quite the opposite, Goldfarb. Chad came to me. Made me swear to keep it a secret, too. Something about feelings and friendship, I don't know. I'm not your remembering things secretary, Chad Kremp!
Adam: That snake is cheating on me with my mortal enemy, who is actually a great guy and another friend.
Coach Mellor: I sympathize. Tennis is a lot like marriage. It's long, and it's boring, and eventually, she leaves you for a handsome Latin man who was just supposed to re-tile your bathroom.