John Calabasas: Psst. Hey, kid.
Adam: Aren't you the guy who takes the photos at the mall?
John Calabasas: Uh, I wear many hats, including a job called "hat wearer." Monkeys won't sit still for it, so here we are. Hey, did I hear you say you're in the market for a school?
Adam: The Providence University of Technology and Sciences. Dean John Calabasas?
John Calabasas: Yep! I'm also the head of admissions, and I'll be checking IDs at the library when/if we get a library. The great news is, you just got accepted. [noisemaker blows] Welcome to PUTS.
Adam: "PUTS"? That's not well thought out.
John Calabasas: Neither is our motto... "Knowledge is knowing."