Virginia Kremp: "I don't know another human being on this earth who would treat their parent this way, especially four weeks before Mother's Day."
Vinny: That's how you started an actual letter?
Beverly: Oh, sweet, stupid Vincent Geary. The opening is everything. I call it the "Guilt Grabber."
Vinny: Oh, I got to write this down.
Beverly: Wait. You can't just copy what I say. Once I teach you the basic structure, you have to find your own spiteful voice.
Mrs. Mirsky: You have a whole structure?
Beverly: Of course I do. Now, after the guilt grabber, you deliver your emotionally devastating thesis, wherein you single them out as the most ungrateful child the world has ever known.