Adult Adam: [v.o.] Lou and Linda were trying to psych themselves up for another day with Muriel, but it wasn't going great.
Linda Schwartz: Okay, we have been doing nothing with the baby for a while.
Lou Schwartz: The ice is doing bupkus for my swollen feet.
Linda Schwartz: I think that that's just how they are, sweetie.
Lou Schwartz: I don't need judgment. And what are you drinking?
Linda Schwartz: This is a sports-themed beverage. It's going to give me Michael Jordan's ability to not die while pushing a stroller.
Lou Schwartz: Let me sample this neon juice. [chuckles] [smacks lips] Dammit, that's nice on the tongue.
Linda Schwartz: I drank three of these yellow boys, and I just want to lay on the floor.
Lou Schwartz: But we promised the kids we'd take the baby apple picking.
Linda Schwartz: If only there were some magical shortcut that didn't involve our limbs.
Lou Schwartz: Why schlep all over Philadelphia when all we need is the evidence that we did? Grab an apple, hold the baby in front of the ficus. And boom, we're apple picking!
Linda Schwartz: Brilliant! But how are we going to pretend that we went to the pool at the JCC?
Lou Schwartz: Fill the damn tub, Linda. Why do I have to be both the brains and the brawn?