Erica: What the hell? Mrs. Claus! Okay. Which one of you made Santa single?
Beverly: Damn it, Linda! You were supposed to rip the music box out of her belly so she'd stay quiet!
Linda Schwartz: Why am I on dismemberment duty?
Geoff: Okay, this is very, very dark.
Beverly: It doesn't matter. What matters is that this family is not in the market for any new traditions.
Erica: Last time I checked, you weren't in charge of how we raise our baby.
Geoff: No, you are not.
Erica: And maybe we don't even know how we want to raise our child yet.
Geoff: No, we do not.
Lou Schwartz: What are you saying?
Erica: What I'm saying is, you may not be in the market for new traditions, but we are. May the best holiday win.
Beverly: Ugh! I hate how cute she looks in that Santa suit!