Barry: Query! Let's say a certain applicant lied to admissions about flunking out of music college. Would Penn wanna know about it?
Dean: That's an extremely specific question, but I guess we'd look into it. Now, about declaring a major-
Erica: Would it also be concerning if another applicant was so selfish that he'd jeopardize his sister's future, and also once he pooped on the bus?
Dean: Another very specific question. I think I misheard you. What happened on the bus?
Barry: I can speak to that hypothetical and assure you that only happened 'cause the facilities at Colonial Williamsburg were inadequate.
Erica: Would the school also reconsider an applicant because he challenged a horse to a fight on more than one occasion?
Barry: Or is that the kind of passionate individual Penn is looking for?
Dean: No. Definitely not.
Barry: Should the university be aware that a certain student once sling-shotted her training bra at Donnie Wahlberg at a New Kids concert?
Erica: Should the university also be aware that another certain student practiced kissing on a Miss Piggy puppet?
Barry: Hey! The university must know the facts! You accepted an incoming freshman who was busted in kindergarten for eating paste.
Erica: How dare you?! And it had glitter in it.
Barry: Regardless, you accepted a student who will ruin my life!