The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air - Carlton Quote #242

Quote from Carlton in The Alma Matter

Carlton: It's not unusual To have dad be proud of me It's not unusual 'Cause I love conformity And when I see dad hangin' with Will instead of me It's not unusual to see me cry I wanna die
Tom Jones: It's not unusual to mess up at any time And when I see you so down and out It's such a crime
Carlton: Did you ever wanna be loved by anyone And then you let them down I blew it yesterday My trust fund's gone away
Tom Jones: My friend it happens all the time And life will never do
Carlton: What you want it to
Tom Jones: Don't give yourself Such a hard time

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‘The Alma Matter’ Quotes

Quote from Carlton

Carlton: What happened, and where's Mom?
Tom Jones: Well, without you, your family was defenseless against Will. You see, they started to focus on happiness instead of success. Your mother ran away with the milkman, your father quit his practice to paint, Ashley does nothing but dance all day, and Hilary just does her hair. Well, maybe not everything changed.
Carlton: But they're not making any money. I mean, so what if they're happy? I mean, how are they going to afford this house our cars, our club memberships?
Tom Jones: Well, they can't. They're gonna lose it all. Happiness has ruined them.
Carlton: I've gotta save them. I've got to teach them about greed and social climbing, and how to claim your dog as a dependent.
Tom Jones: Now that's the Carlton I know. Maestro. [sings] It's not unusual To feel bad at any time It's not unusual To feel sad at any time
Carlton: But if I ever am in a jam at any time
Tom Jones: It's not unusual To find that I am there for you Whoa whoa oh whoa oh Oh Whoa oh Whoa whoa whoa whoa Whoa Oh Oh Alright Oh yeah

Quote from Hilary

Will: Hilary, when is G getting back? I'm starving.
Hilary: Don't worry, Will, I made breakfast.
Will: Damn, I'm full. Couldn't eat another bite.
Hilary: Come on, Will. I know what I'm doing. Remember, I was a professional caterer.
Carlton: And you still would be if you hadn't poisoned those nuns.
Hilary: Hey, the autopsy was inconclusive. Bon apptit.
Ashley: Come on, let's give her a chance.
Will: Hmm. These eggs aren't bad. What's the crunchy stuff?
Hilary: Oh, great, you found my contact.

Quote from Carlton

Ed: Mr. Carlton Banks?
Carlton: Yo, what's up? [breaks Rubik's cube] Sorry.
Ed: That's all right. I've been looking through your transcript, Mr. Banks.
Carlton: Oh, you don't have to call me Mr. Banks. My posse calls me Rap Master C.
Ed: Excuse me?
Carlton: [raps] Rap Master is my name. Ask me again and I'll tell you the same. [beatboxes] Didn't mean to dis you, can I get you a tissue? [beatboxes]
Ed: So, Rap Master I noticed that you are the treasurer of your young Republican Club.
Carlton: Three years running. But enough about that Bugie stuff. Let me teach you how to vogue. Strike a pose.
Ed: Mr. Banks, are you on some sort of medication?
Carlton: Let me teach you how to wear a hat.
Ed: Mr. Banks, please. Mr. Banks, you're nothing like what I expected.
Carlton: I'm not?
Ed: Your scores are topnotch and your grades couldn't be better.
Carlton: They are.
Ed: Unfortunately, at this time Princeton doesn't accept the clinically insane. Next!

Carlton Quotes

Quote from Just Say Yo

Carlton: Where am I? Last thing I remember, I was doing the running man to I Will Always Love You.
Will: Carlton, you're at a hospital.
Carlton: Wow, I feel terrible. I never thought losing my virginity would be this painful.
Will: Carlton, I got some bad news.
Carlton: Oh, God, I malfunctioned.
Will: No. See, you never made it past the dance floor. Those pills that you took weren't vitamins.
Carlton: What were they?
Will: Look, you gotta promise you're not gonna overreact.
Carlton: What could be worse than finding out I'm still a virgin?
Will: It was speed.
Carlton: Oh, my God. I'm a drug addict and a virgin!

Quote from The Alma Matter

Carlton: What happened, and where's Mom?
Tom Jones: Well, without you, your family was defenseless against Will. You see, they started to focus on happiness instead of success. Your mother ran away with the milkman, your father quit his practice to paint, Ashley does nothing but dance all day, and Hilary just does her hair. Well, maybe not everything changed.
Carlton: But they're not making any money. I mean, so what if they're happy? I mean, how are they going to afford this house our cars, our club memberships?
Tom Jones: Well, they can't. They're gonna lose it all. Happiness has ruined them.
Carlton: I've gotta save them. I've got to teach them about greed and social climbing, and how to claim your dog as a dependent.
Tom Jones: Now that's the Carlton I know. Maestro. [sings] It's not unusual To feel bad at any time It's not unusual To feel sad at any time
Carlton: But if I ever am in a jam at any time
Tom Jones: It's not unusual To find that I am there for you Whoa whoa oh whoa oh Oh Whoa oh Whoa whoa whoa whoa Whoa Oh Oh Alright Oh yeah

Quote from Blood Is Thicker Than Mud

Carlton: How dare you not take Will. He's full of potential.
Top Dog: That's why we want him. It's you we don't want.
Carlton: Me? [music stops] But I did everything. I cooked, I cleaned, I hand-washed your toilets.
Top Dog: Everything your butler does for you. I'm not accepting no prep school, Bel-Air bred sellout into my fraternity.
Will: Homey, you can stop all that-
Carlton: No, wait, Will. I got this one. You think I'm a sellout, why? Because I live in a big house or I dress a certain way? Or maybe it's because I like Barry Manilow.
Will: He mean Barry White, y'all.
Carlton: Being black isn't what I'm trying to be, it's what I am. I'm running the same race and jumping the same hurdles you are, so why are you tripping me up? You said we need to stick together but you don't even know what that means. If you ask me, you're the real sellout.
Will: Yeah, that's right, boy. And in the words of my illustrious cousin: "We will make like a tree and leave."