Nicky: Daddy, you know how you told me that Harry's black now because rabbits change colors for Easter? Isn't there a little more to that story?
Philip: Well, yes. Uh Nicky, you remember in The Lion King when Mufasa...?
Nicky: Daddy, did you sit on Harry?
Philip: Yes. But- But-
Nicky: That's okay, Dad. Death is a natural part of life. But what a way to go.

Philip: Oh, Will, something terrible has happened.
Will: I know.
Philip: I didn't mean to kill him.
Will: What? What? Uncle Phil, you killed him? Oh, my God. Does anybody know?
Philip: Well, Hilary may suspect. She came in right after it happened. I mean, it was an accident.
Will: Okay, good. Good. You said that like you really believed it.
Philip: It was an accident, Will.
Will: Hey, hey, man, I'm not the one you gotta convince.
Philip: Nicky is gonna be very upset.
Will: What? I think Nicky is the least of your worries. Okay. All right. All right. Uncle Phil, you go upstairs, pack a bag. I'm gonna get the car. We gonna shoot down to Tijuana. We gonna chill in Mexico, this whole thing blows over.
Philip: Will, they don't arrest you for sitting on a rabbit.

Will: Look, um, I saw what happened down at the church.
Vivian: Will, I don't know what to do. I don't know whether to tell Philip or not. If I tell him, he's gonna be furious. This whole thing doesn't make any sense.
Will: Makes sense to me. Look like the Rev's trying to get his hallelujah on.
Vivian: Honey, he's an old friend of the family's, and he's close with your uncle. My God, why did he have to do this?
Will: [screams as Uncle Phil walks in] Hey! Whoo-hoo! Uncle Phil, what's going on, man? Oh, man, what's going on, boy? Shoot. Hey. You know, I was asking you what's going on because there ain't nothing going on in here. There's nothing going... I wanted to know with you. Did you have something going on? Because we don't have any.
Philip: Oh Vivian, could you have Geoffrey put out an extra plate tonight? I've invited Reverend Sims for dinner.
Will: You can't. Uh... Ain't enough chicken. I mean, there's too much chicken. You know what they say about ministers. You know, they will eat and eat and eat until they die. Yeah. They're like goldfish.
Philip: You are a very odd young man.