Will: Lisa. Sweetheart, there's only one word to describe you.
Carlton: Scum.
Will: Carlton. Man, you know the routine. When there's a sock in the door, you sleep on the lawn.
Carlton: Have you read this week's National Inquisitor?
Will: Man, I don't read that trash.
Carlton: Then how come you're writing it?
Will: Wait, wait. Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait a minute. They used one of my photos from my book and put it in here.
Lisa: "'Jay Leno: Earth Enemy Number One' by Will Smith?" You sold pictures to a sleazy magazine like this?
Will: No, no, no, baby. I did not. I sold them to a book publisher. Look, Jay Leno wasn't holding an oil can. He was holding a coffee pot. That guy tricked me. Yeah, well, at least I got paid.