Will: Man, it was the most horrifying thing I had ever seen.
[flashback:]
Will: [screams] Uncle Phil. Hey, man, what you doing here?
Philip: What am I doing here? What am I doing here? [chuckling] Well, son, I'll tell you what I'm doing here. You see, years ago I fell in love with and married a wonderful woman named Vivian. Vivian had a sister named Vy.
Vy gave birth to a child named Will whose sole purpose in life has been to make mine a living hell. Now, you've done a lot to me over the last four years, but how you managed to have me ripped out of my wonderful life in Bel-Air and relocated to this landfill boggles my mind. What do you have to say for yourself?
Will: Is that a toupee?
Philip: Yes, it's a toupee. It's a part of my new identity. You see what you do to me? Now, where's the bathroom?
Will: It's right through that door.
Philip: It leads outside.
Will: Oh, yeah, I know. You better take this broomstick. There's something living in there.