Professor Mansfield: Philosophy is all about the perception of reality. And today's reality is this is a very difficult course. I am a very difficult man and I'm going to make your lives very difficult.
Will: Excuse me, Professor Mansfield, it's not too late to start sucking up, is it?
Professor Mansfield: There'll be a paper every week and a pop quiz whenever I feel like having some fun... And I'm a fun-loving guy. You will have five 20-page papers, two midterms and a little cumulative final that I like to call the widow-maker.
[fantasy:]
Professor Mansfield: Thank you, Padre. Not so quick with the hair jokes now, my friend? Well, work may be hard but I think in the long run you'll find this course electrifying.
Will: No, no, no! No, wait. Call my mother! Somebody call the governor! I ain't even supposed to be in this class, man! I wanna live.