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Quote from Philip in That's No Lady, That's My Cousin

Philip: [recording] Hi, little one. Of course, you won't make an appearance for about six months now but I thought you'd like to meet your family. I'm your daddy. Can you say "daddy"? And here... Here is your mommy. And here is you. Hello in there. Mommy, why don't we call the kids down and tell them that you're pregnant? Kids! Kids! Come on down, we have a big surprise for you.
Will: Oh, check it out. LAPD, The Home Game. We're making a movie? Here, check it out, Uncle Phil. Hold on. [screams] I have fallen and I can't get up.
Philip: Will. Kids, come on now, brace yourself. I have some very important news for you.
Carlton: Okay, but I'm living with the one who keeps the house.
Philip: No, no. We're not getting a divorce, stupid. We're having a baby. [all laugh]
Will: Wait. Hold it, hold it, hold it. You and you? [screams]
Vivian: This is serious. We're having a baby.
Will: Yo, they ain't laughing, y'all.
Hilary: Okay, I think I speak for everyone when I say: Ew! And I'm not baby-sitting.
Ashley: I'm not changing diapers.
Carlton: And I'm not sharing my trust fund.
Philip: Let's try this again, shall we? [rewinds] Now, kids, I have great news. We're going to have a baby!
Kids: [weakly] Yay.

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