Fez Quote #468
Quote from Fez in Trampled Under Foot
Hyde: Look, if you wanna get Nina back, you gotta act like you don't care.
Fez: But I don't know how to do that.
Kelso: Well, we can help you. Oh! We'll rebuild you like the Six Million Dollar Man!
[fantasy:]
Fez: Fez One to Control. We have liftoff. All systems are go. Proceed to eat candy. [klaxon blares] Uh-oh. Emergency! Emergency! We are breaking up. I repeat, Nina and I are breaking up.
[cut to Fez on an operating table:]
Kelso: [v.o.] Fez, a teenager, a boy with needs. Gentlemen, we can rebuild him. We have the technology.
Hyde: [v.o.] We can make him more appealing to Nina by making him less needy. [Fez grunts] We can make him cooler, suaver, aloofer.
Eric: "Aloofer"? Is that even a word?
Hyde: We can make it one. We have the technology. [Fez scoffs]
[cut to Fez emerging from the operating table:]
Hyde: Initiate female reaction sequence.
Eric: Release the girls.
Donna: Hey, Fez, looking good.
Jackie: Love the outfit. Totally bionic.
Fez: You mean nothing to me.
Donna: Oh, no. He's no longer needy.
Jackie: And because of that, I want him even more. [Fez jumps back]
Eric, Kelso & Hyde: Doctor. Doctor. Doctor. Doctor. Doctor. Doctor.
Eric: Terrific job.
Eric, Kelso & Hyde: Doctor. Doctor. Doctor.
Eric: Whoa.
Eric, Kelso & Hyde: Doctor. Doctor.
[reality:]
Fez: Oh, I see. In order to get Nina I have to act like I don't need her. Well, fine. I don't need Nina. I don't need women. I don't need anything! [Fez jumps out of bed]
All: Oh!
That '70s Show Quotes
‘Trampled Under Foot’ Quotes
Quote from Hyde
[circle:]
Hyde: I'm telling you, the government has a car that runs on water, man. They just don't want us to know, because then we'd buy all the water. Then there'd be nothing left to drink but beer. And the government knows that beer will set us free.
Fez: Hyde, you told us about the car a million times. Can we please talk about how hungry and horny I am? I wish I had a lady made of pizza. Or a pizza made of boobs!
Eric: Yeah, hungry, check. Horny, check. It's getting a little old, Fez. God, I feel like I'm Luke Skywalker, you know? Remember when he was living on Tatooine before R2 and 3PO showed up? Just working on Uncle Owen's water farm all day. Not even allowed to go into Toshie Station to pick up some power converters. Boring.
Kelso: Eric, enough with the Star Wars crap! Whenever you talk about that stuff, I frown. And when I frown, my skin wrinkles. And if I get wrinkles, my free ride is over. And I like my free ride!
Hyde: Yeah, we get it. You're good looking. Look, doesn't anybody have anything new to say?
[Fez, Eric and Kelso are stumped when the camera pans over to them]
Hyde: So there's this car that runs on water, man. [guys throw beer cans at Hyde] It runs on water, man!
Quote from Hyde
[circle:]
Hyde: Hey, weren't we supposed to seize something, man?
Donna: You know what the Six Million Dollar Man should have? A bionic nose. You could smell everything!
Eric: Guys, all I know is that we should really appreciate this, 'cause I don't think we're gonna be able to do this in college.
Kelso: This peach cobbler is amazing. Now, who would leave a whole pan of peach cobbler just sitting on a counter?
Jackie: See? We don't need anyone else. We have lots of interesting things to say. Right?
Hyde: Hey, there's this car that runs on water. It runs on water, man! [the guys throw beer cans and a candy bar at Hyde]
Quote from Fez
Fez: Okay, Nina, I brought you the special. One small soda, one medium popcorn and one large Fez, dark and sweet.
Nina: Fez, you know I've had a lot of fun hanging out with you.
Fez: Hey, 37 times of fun, to be exact. It would've been 38, but you know... And then again, I apologize. Now enjoy your meal. If you need me, I'll be smelling your neck.
Nina: Fe-Fez, I'm starting to feel like I need some space. But I want you to know it's not you, it's me.
Fez: Okay. Well, I guess tonight I'll be doing number 12,377 of the other thing.
Nina: That's sort of gross.
Fez: Hey, it may be gross, but that's the way I learned how to count.