Red: Why does everybody go everywhere with us? Look at all these damn kids. I feel like a Mormon.

Eric: So, am I allowed to drink around you guys yet?
Red: Eric, put that back. That's your mother's emergency wine.

Red: I don't hear any kids.
Kitty: They're at The Hub.
Red: So, we have the house to ourselves. Interesting.
[As Red and Kitty jump off the couch and head for the stairs, the doorbell rings]
Red: Don't open it. I'll throw in a foot massage.
Kitty: It could be The Franklin Mint. I ordered those Gone With the Wind plates. [opens door] Mom, Daddy.
Red: I told you not to open it.
Kitty: What are you doing here?
Burt: We just thought we'd drop by.
Kitty: You came all the way from Phoenix just to drop by.
Red: Oh! So you're lost and you need directions back home. That's no problem. Go south until you see cactus. If you hit a guy with a sombrero, you've gone too far.