Fez Quote #552

Quote from Fez in Sally Simpson

Suzy Simpson: Michael. We got issued our cop sunglasses. I've been using them to scare the crap out of civilians all day. [to Fez] Drop the records, punk!
Fez: I wasn't stealing them. Yes, I was.
Kelso: Fez, this is Suzy Simpson. She and I are training to be cops.
Fez: Oh, if there's more like you at the Police Academy, that Academy deserves an award.
Suzy Simpson: Academy Award, that's funny. [punches Fez's arm]
Kelso: Yeah, Simpson's wanted to be a cop for, like, forever.
Suzy Simpson: Yeah, it's because of the weapons, mostly. I love things that make a lot of noise. Guns and boys.
Fez: Well, then, load me up, baby, 'cause I'm ready to go bang.
Suzy Simpson: Well, I'd better go. I've gotta stop at the candy store.
Kelso: All right.
Fez: Wait. You like candy?
Suzy Simpson: Yeah. I'm out of Good & Plenty. It says on the box that there's plenty, but...
Both: ...it's never enough. Jinx! One, two, three, four, five, you owe me a Coke! [Suzy exits]
Fez: That is the woman I've been searching for my whole life.
Kelso: Hey, do you want me to see if she likes you?
Fez: Kelso, we've been down that road. Just give me her address, some binoculars, and I'll handle the rest myself.

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 ‘Sally Simpson’ Quotes

Quote from Red

Eric: Oh, hey. What took you guys so long at the heart doctor's? Oh, let me guess. You had to call in a specialist just to find Dad's tiny heart.
Red: You know, we could call in a specialist to find my foot in your ass.
Hyde: "We're going to need an ass-foot-ologist, stat."

Quote from Fez

Fez: No, I cannot be in the same room with him. You and I are through. Now good day.
Kelso: But, Fez... [Fez is silent]
Jackie: Fez? He said, "But, Fez."
Fez: Oh, I heard him.
Donna: Well, now you're supposed to say... "I said good day."
Kelso: Yeah, and then we all know that you're really mad, but eventually, you'll get over it.
Fez: Oh, you'd like that. "Dance, monkey, dance." Well, Kelso, this monkey don't dance no more.
Donna: But, Fez...
Fez: I said good day! [groans]

Quote from Red

Red: You think my problem is my own son? My son is a fine young man.
Eric: Wow, Dad, you don't have...
Red: Shut up, dumbass. You know less about my family than you do about football! Which isn't saying much, since you dropped every pass that came near you! And let me tell you something else. When a real Packer hurts his leg, he stuffs his kneecap back in and keeps on running!
Eric: That's what this little mushroom would have done.