Fez: Well! If it isn't Jackie. There's only one person I hate more than Jackie, and that is Fenton. And Fenton, there's only one person I hate more than you. Queen Elizabeth. Who does she think she is? Queen of England?

Jackie: Hey, Fezzie. How's the salon?
Fez: Horrible. An old lady and a Marine came in at the same time. I got confused. And, well, Mrs. Riley was not happy when I shaved her head.
Jackie: Yeah, I know. I had a tough day too. General Hospital is pre-empted by some stupid hostage crisis.
Fez: Did you drink my last grape soda?
Jackie: Yeah. I left the empty bottle in the fridge, so you'd know to buy more.
Fez: But I'd been looking forward to this grape soda all day. I even made up a song. [sings] I'm looking forward to that grape soda, yeah [talks] Jackie, I took you in when you had nowhere to go, but you've been a total mooch. You have no job, you pay no rent. You need to shape up or put out.
Jackie: Uh, Fez, it's shape up or ship out.
Fez: Then what the hell is in it for me?

Fenton: Oh. It's you.
Fez: Fenton.
Fenton: During business hours you may address me by my official title, "Landlord." I'll also respond to "Lord Fenton." Ooh, or on Sundays, "The Good Lord." Yes.
Fez: Fenton, I am in no mood to talk to you.
Fenton: Oh, well, then just listen. I did a little shuffle-y-doo with the parking assignments. Your new space is Z.
Fez: Z? Z's the last spot. It's dangerous to walk from there at night. I'm a single man.
Fenton: Well, maybe you should put some effort into your appearance.
Fez: Maybe you should put some effort into minding your own business!
Fenton: Maybe you should shut up!
Fez: Maybe you should go to hell!
Fenton: I'll go to hell when you shut up! [both turn around]
Fez: Damn. I really should have turned in the direction of my door. Excuse me.
Fenton: Of course.