Kitty: Laurie, I have to talk to you.
[split-screen with Kitty talking to Laurie and Hyde talking to Kelso:]
Hyde: Kelso, we gotta confab, man.
Laurie & Kelso: Okay.
Kitty: Too many times I have sat idly by and watched you make bad choices.
Hyde: I've seen you screw up an awful lot. And sure, I've enjoyed it.
Hyde & Kitty: But now, you've gone too far. Do you know what this is about?
Laurie: Duh. I'm not an idiot.
Kelso: Nuh-uh.
Kitty: Michael has some nice qualities, but...
Hyde: Laurie's got great legs, and a fine rack, but...
Kitty: He's just a boy.
Hyde: She's a major skankoid.
Kitty: And you don't know where a boy like that will end up.
Hyde: And you don't know where a girl like that has been.
Kitty: Now, I know. I know you want a boyfriend who's weak and easily manipulated.
Hyde: Now, I know you're weak and easily manipulated.
Kitty: But you have got to learn to think about the future.
Hyde: But you've got to learn to think.
Kitty: And...
Kitty & Hyde: And make smart choices. 'Cause what's convenient isn't always what's best.
Kitty: If it were, I'd just throw on a muumuu and eat out of a can.
Hyde: If it were, this frozen pizza wouldn't taste like monkey butt.
Laurie: Okay. Are you done with this little lecture?
Kelso: Okay. You done with that pizza?
Hyde & Kitty: Yes. And I think I've made my point.
Laurie: [inner monologue] Oh, god. I've got to get my own place.
Kelso: [inner monologue] This doesn't taste like monkey butt.