Kelso: Okay, Brooke, I made a list of reasons why I'm gonna make a great dad for our little baby. Okay, number one, I am a waiter. So we'll never run out of straws. See? Look, kids love straws.
Brooke: Michael, I really appreciate the gesture, but no thanks.
Kelso: Seriously, I think if we just hang out, you'll see that I'm getting a lot more mature. I mean, just the other day I watched golf and took a nap.
Brooke: Look, Michael, if we weren't in this situation, I think you'd be a really good friend. I mean, you're nice, you bring me stuff, dogs love you. I just think we should limit our time together to almost none.
Kelso: Okay, how about we make a compromise between "almost none" and what I want to do, which is "it"?
Brooke: Okay, if you want, you can help me hang decorations tonight for the library's Christmas party.
Kelso: Spend Christmas Eve in a library? Why don't you just kick me in the 'nads?