Bob: Midge! Midge?
[fantasy: a '50s-style, black-and-white public education video:]
Narrator: [v.o.] Meet Bob. He's a typical American who works hard loves his family and has never cheated on his tax return. Life is good but lately, he's noticed some slight changes in his daughter Donna. "Hi, honey. How was school today?" "Great, Dad. I got an A on a test and tonight I'm having cocktails with the principal. Will you excuse us, Dad? "We have to study." Bob realizes his daughter is growing up. Now that Donna's on the pill she's what medical professionals call: Open for business. Come on, Bob. I want to show you something. You see, Bob, the pill means Donna can have lots of sex with many different partners. Not just Eric. "Hi, Mr. Pinciotti. Boy, is your daughter something!" So. Do you get it, Bob? She's open for business. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm next.