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Eric: Laurie's busted. This is, and I don't think I'm exaggerating here, the greatest day in the history of time.
Fez: Except maybe the day cheese was invented. I love the cheese.
Hyde: Wow, man, she's gone one day, and she's already got a new guy. Kelso, you heartbreaker, you.
Kelso: Yeah, I'm havin' a horrible day. Laurie's gone and Jackie's all suspicious of me. And I'm gettin' no lovin'. None. I can't be me without lovin'.
Hyde: Kelso... [sighs] If you want to keep Jackie, man, and trust me, you don't, you gotta act innocent, okay? Let's practice. So, did you fool around with Laurie?
Kelso: You know I did!
Hyde: Dumb-ass, no, man! Complete denial. Watergate. Learn. So, did you fool around with Laurie?
Kelso: Yeah. Wait, no. I mean, no! Wait, I mean, yeah. No, see, this isn't gonna work.