Red: Congratulations, Eric. You got suspended. Are you getting dumber?
Eric: Gee, I don't think so. Look, Dad, I don't smoke.
Laurie: Daddy, if Eric's a smoker, and he lies about smoking, doesn't that make him a smoking liar?
Kitty: Okay, you know what? That's enough. Eric, have some more pot roast. Here. Here's some mashed potatoes, and here's a photo of a cancerous lung.
Eric: Whoa! Mom, gross! Look, I don't smoke!
Kitty: Okay, well, either way, that is what's gonna happen to your lungs if you keep on smoking.
Red: Well, the way he's screwing up his life, death will be a sweet release.
Eric: So I got that to look forward to.