Hyde: I can't wait for these guys to see Kelso. I think I might be giddy.
Fez: I know, I feel like it's Christmas morning. Except, instead of toys, we get to humiliate a close friend.
[When Kelso enters, he has a Hitler-style mustache]
Kelso: Hey, Pete. Hey, Doug. [raises arm] Hey, boys.
Hyde & Fez: [raise arms] Hi, Mike!
Officer Kennedy: Cadet Mike, I suppose you think this is funny?
Kelso: What?
Officer Kennedy: You have made a mockery of the uniform, and I want an explanation right now. [Kelso goes to speak] Shut up! Dismissed!
Kelso: What did you guys do to me? Did you shave my head? Is there something on my back? You know what? You guys are totally stuck in high school, and I'm trying to do something better and you guys resent it, so you're trying to ruin it for me. Well, you know what? This stuff isn't even funny anymore. [Fez holds up a hand mirror] Oh, that's a good burn!