Mateo Quote #367
Quote from Mateo in California (Part 1)
Mateo: [sings] ♪ Happy birthday to you ♪ ♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
Cheyenne: Aww. You don't have to...
Mateo: [continues singing] ♪ Don't interrupt me, dear Cheyenne ♪ ♪ Happy birthday to ♪ [riffing] [gasps] ♪ You ♪
Cheyenne: Thanks, but my birthday isn't till Saturday.
Mateo: Oh, I know. I just wanted to make sure that when you finally have your first legal drink, it's from me. So are we gonna have a party?
Cheyenne: Nah. We're broke as ass right now, so we'll probably just stay home and eat SpaghettiOs and listen to the neighbors fight.
Mateo: No, you... you have to have a party. Just ask your friends to chip in or, I don't know, charge them to come.
Cheyenne: You think people wanna pay to watch me get drunk?
Mateo: Cheyenne, you're young and hot. People would pay to watch you kill a goat.
Cheyenne: Thank you.
Mateo: We are throwing you a party.
Cheyenne: Yay!
Superstore Quotes
‘California (Part 1)’ Quotes
Quote from Dina
Jonah: Yeah, I will, although I'll have to check with Amy because I'm not sure the new shipment came in last night.
Dina: Well, Amy is at the eye doctor.
Jonah: Yeah, I know. I mean when she gets back.
Dina: From the eye doctor.
Jonah: Yep.
Dina: 'Cause that's where she is.
Jonah: Mm-hmm.
Dina: They're checking her out for a dead spot.
Jonah: What?
Dina: Yeah. Right eye, 10 degrees off center, about the size of a baseball, she said.
Jonah: Wow, that's a lot of detail.
Dina: It is, and I bet you're wondering why she hasn't mentioned it. It's because she doesn't want you to worry.
Jonah: Uh-huh.
Dina: Yeah. You know, because if the dead spot gets worse, and let's be honest, it will, you're gonna be the person taking care of her. Feeding, bathing, describing the ocean. Anyway, it's gonna be beautiful. Like a Nicholas Sparks novel. I'm excited about that for you.
Quote from Dina
Dina: Could you restock the Icelandic yogurt when you get a chance? Apparently, every country in Europe gets a shot now.
Quote from Cheyenne
Cheyenne: Hey, Mateo, can I ask you something and promise not to freak out?
Mateo: No.
Cheyenne: Uh-huh. Okay, so if 500 people bought tickets to my party, how many do you think will actually show up? Probably, like, 30, right?
Mateo: You sold 500 tickets?
Cheyenne: My friend Chloe reposted it, so it really took off in the foot fetish community.