Glenn Quote #238
Glenn: Oh, sorry, I'm just responding to all these old reviews.
Glenn: Like, in 2006, this lady found a pool of vomit in Electronics. "Dear Verna301, we have cleaned up the vomit." We have cleaned up the vomit, right?
Amy: Yeah. I believe so.
Glenn: Wha... Frenchfryguy81 updated his review! "So the manager invited me back to the store and tried to brainwash me with an hour-long propaganda tour." "Pathetic man." "Muppet voice." Why would anyone write this?
Amy: Because he likes complaining. Don't engage. You won't win.
Glenn: Well, you can die trying.
Quote from Cheyenne
Cheyenne: My friends and I would say that you guys are just chilling.
Jonah: Wait, full-on sex is now considered just chilling?
Cheyenne: Uh-huh, and mouth stuff is hanging out, and hand stuff is pretty much, "I like you but just as a friend".
Garrett: Wow, times have changed.
Quote from Mateo
Mateo: [on video] What am I gonna miss the most? Uh, the people? They're salt of the Earth. Simple, basic. Just sort of harmless. Am I scared? Of course I'm scared.
Amy: Wait, so, um, who's asking you these questions?
Garrett: That is not your chest.
Mateo: Yes it is.
Garrett: Then take off your shirt.
Mateo: I had a big breakfast.
Mateo: [on video] My advice? I guess it would be leaving every place you work at a little bit better than when you found it. Did I do that here? Who can say? Yes. I think I did.
Dina: Well, that was a massive waste of time.
Glenn: Okay, moving on. We have not had a tornado drill in eight years, so we really should...
Mateo: [on video] I started this journey as a small child in the Philippines... [all groan]
Quote from All Sales Final
Jonah: So... retirement, huh? Got any big plans?
Glenn: Yeah, I think I might finally watch The Queen's Gambit.
Jonah: Okay, so that's... seven episodes. What else?
Glenn: Well, I hadn't really thought much beyond that. Gosh, I guess there's gonna be a lot of hours to fill, huh?
Jonah: Yeah, yeah, but that's a good thing, right, Glenn? I mean, I'm sure you've got hobbies.
Glenn: No, 'cause work is all I've ever known, Jonah. I mean, I started at my dad's hardware store when I was eight, and before that, I worked at the tollbooth.
Jonah: Glenn, I'm sure you're gonna be fine. I- There's gotta be something that you can do.
Glenn: Well, what if I got a 500 piece puzzle? That'd take up some time, right?
Glenn: What, you want me to get a 1,000 piece puzzle? How much table space do you think I have, Jonah?
Quote from Conspiracy
Glenn: I'm sorry. Just... I started doing some research, and I came across this article, "The Truth About Zephra." I think there's some fishy business going on.
Dina: Oh, like tax evasion, offshore banking? What are we talking here?
Glenn: You know how everyone's pushing this 5G? Well, turns out 5 is the worst of the Gs. They say that it hits your brain at a certain frequency that lets them control human behavior.
Dina: You think Zephra's involved in mind control? Okay, that's enough screen time for you.
Glenn: No, it's not that I believe in mind control, but they are trying to control how we greet customers.
Dina: Glenn, enough. This is why old people shouldn't be allowed on the Internet.