Mateo Quote #256
Quote from Mateo in Minor Crimes
Mateo: Maybe they won't even realize it's gone.
Glenn: They do an audit every time there's a management change at the store. I think they're going to notice $27,000 missing.
Jonah: You can't just return it?
Glenn: No, 'cause I already told them that I spent it.
Mateo: Okay, maybe this helps. I found this jacket online. It's beaded, it's exactly $27,000. So add to cart?
Glenn: Spending it isn't going to help.
Jonah: Actually, it might.
Glenn: What?
Mateo: Yes! Glenn, can I borrow $2,000 for sales tax?
Superstore Quotes
‘Minor Crimes’ Quotes
Quote from Mateo
Jonah: Glenn, you're not going to go to prison, okay? It's fine. We- We just need to do about what, 12 grand worth of damage in- In the next hour.
Mateo: Oh. We have fertilizer in the garden center. We can make a bomb.
Jonah: I feel like going from embezzlement to domestic terrorism is the wrong direction.
Mateo: We could hire termites to eat the store.
Jonah: How do you hire termites?
Mateo: I don't know, with wood?
Quote from Marcus
Marcus: You got to do what's for the greater good. If you could cure cancer, but you had to blow up a bus full of children, wouldn't you do it?
Amy: I mean, I guess?
Jonah: Just take the job. You're not just doing it for you. You're doing it for all of us.
Amy: I mean, I guess I would be better than Blaine.
Jonah: Yeah.
Marcus: Hey, Amy, guess what? One of the kids on that bus had the cure. [crunch]
Justine: Twist ending.
Quote from Glenn
Glenn: And guys, I say this a lot, but we really need to wet down those raccoon droppings before we sweep.
Dry sweeping is the reason why those roundworm eggs go airborne. God, I just realized this is the last time I'm going to tell you guys to spray your droppings.
Justine: Aww.