Jonah Quote #61

Quote from Jonah in Wedding Day Sale

Amy: I'm just saying that I wish somebody had warned me not to spend so much money on a wedding.
Jonah: I'm telling you. People do not like to be told how to spend their money.
Amy: Really? So does that mean you'll stop telling me to call your "Dad's friend?"
Jonah: That's about making you money, and if you saw the charts that he showed me...
Amy: Oh, yeah. The charts.


 ‘Wedding Day Sale’ Quotes

Quote from Dina

Dina: If you're hungry, that can of beans is up for grabs, but not this one.
Amy: I'm good. Do you mind if I turn on the... where's your radio?
Dina: Oh, I special ordered my truck without one. Yeah, it costs a little extra, but it makes the vehicle less appealing to thieves 'cause no one wants a truck without a radio. Name a song, though. I'll sing it for you.
Amy: That's okay.
Dina: No, no, go ahead. I got a photographic memory for music.
Amy: Okay, um... "Single Ladies."
Dina: Not familiar with that one.
Amy: "Uptown Funk."
Dina: Don't know it.
Amy: "Dancing Queen."
Dina: Nope.
Amy: "Thriller?" Michael Jackson?
Dina: You can't name a song by some guy you went to middle school with. It has to be popular. [sings] Oh Danny boy The pipes the pipes are calling

Quote from Garrett

Garrett: Does this make sense to anyone else? White dress, $30. White wedding dress, $200. Is there cocaine in this or something?

 Jonah Simms Quotes

Quote from Health Fund

Amy: Okay, so in the first four hours, you've managed to commit us to $37,000.
Jonah: The claims just kept coming, and, you know, it's like that opening in Star Wars where the words zoom past you. And at first it's cool, but eventually you just can't keep up.
Amy: Wait, Sandra alone has asthma, rheumatoid arthritis, sciatica, fibromyalgia, leaky gut syndrome... This just keeps going.
Jonah: We just got to keep signing people up. That's all, okay? If we get everybody in the backroom to sign up then that will pay for these people. And then we can go to other branches and then that will pay for the backroom...
Amy: [gasps] This is a pyramid scheme.

Quote from Election Day

Jonah: Not to put my head in the lion's mouth, but now I'm thinking Times New Roman.
Amy: [sighs] Times New Roman would be a fine font, Jonah, and so would Helvetica and Garamond, and really any font would be just fine.
Jonah: Not Wingdings.
Amy: No one was suggesting Wingdings.