Glenn Quote #296
Glenn: "If you're reading this, then your branch has been the victim of a workplace... tornado. Workplace tornados are a growing epidemic that we need to face while still respecting the right of every American to own tornados." It's good.
Quote from Glenn
Glenn: I went to the movie Saw thinking it was about carpentry. It is not! I threw up in my lap. And then Jerusha made us stay because it was our date night and the tickets were non-refundable.
Quote from Sandra
Garrett: What's going on? What you guys talking about?
Garrett: Nothing? So you guys are just in the hallway staring at each other saying nothing?
Jonah: Well, not nothing. I mean, we were... we were talking about...
Sandra: Jonah's going to a barbecue, and he asked if it'd be interesting to put burrata on a burger instead of provolone. And I said, "Who uses provolone?" [both laughs] And he was laughing, and then I started laughing. And then he asked, "Are burgers cliché in general?" And I said, "No, not if you use venison." But then you said, "Venison does not pair with burrata," so... here we are.
Quote from All Sales Final
Jonah: So... retirement, huh? Got any big plans?
Glenn: Yeah, I think I might finally watch The Queen's Gambit.
Jonah: Okay, so that's... seven episodes. What else?
Glenn: Well, I hadn't really thought much beyond that. Gosh, I guess there's gonna be a lot of hours to fill, huh?
Jonah: Yeah, yeah, but that's a good thing, right, Glenn? I mean, I'm sure you've got hobbies.
Glenn: No, 'cause work is all I've ever known, Jonah. I mean, I started at my dad's hardware store when I was eight, and before that, I worked at the tollbooth.
Jonah: Glenn, I'm sure you're gonna be fine. I- There's gotta be something that you can do.
Glenn: Well, what if I got a 500 piece puzzle? That'd take up some time, right?
Glenn: What, you want me to get a 1,000 piece puzzle? How much table space do you think I have, Jonah?
Quote from Conspiracy
Glenn: I'm sorry. Just... I started doing some research, and I came across this article, "The Truth About Zephra." I think there's some fishy business going on.
Dina: Oh, like tax evasion, offshore banking? What are we talking here?
Glenn: You know how everyone's pushing this 5G? Well, turns out 5 is the worst of the Gs. They say that it hits your brain at a certain frequency that lets them control human behavior.
Dina: You think Zephra's involved in mind control? Okay, that's enough screen time for you.
Glenn: No, it's not that I believe in mind control, but they are trying to control how we greet customers.
Dina: Glenn, enough. This is why old people shouldn't be allowed on the Internet.