Jerry: Wouldn't it be great if you could ask a woman what she's thinking?
George: What a world that would be, if you just could ask a woman what she's thinkin'.
Jerry: You know, instead, I'm like a detective. I've gotta pick up clues, the whole thing is a murder investigation.

George: Listen. Listen, don't get worked up, 'cause you're gonna know the whole story the minute she steps off the plane.
Jerry: Really? How?
George: 'Cause it's all in the greeting.
Jerry: Uh-huh.
George: All right, if she puts the bags down before she greets you, that's a good sign.
Jerry: Right.
George: You know, anything in the, in the "lip-area" is good.
Jerry: "Lip-area".
George: You know, a hug, definitely good.
Jerry: Hug is definitely good.
George: Sure.
Jerry: Although what if it's one of those hugs where the shoulders are touching, the hips are eight feet apart?
George: That's so brutal, I hate that.
Jerry: You know how they do that?
George: That's why, you know, a shake is bad.
Jerry: Shake is bad, but what if it's the "two-hander"? The hand on the bottom, the hand on the top, the warm look in the eyes?
George: Hand-sandwich.
Jerry: Right.
George: I see, well, that's open to interpretation. Because so much depends on the layering and the quality of the wetness in the eyes...

Jerry: [answers phone] Um, it's for you.
Laura: [takes phone] Hi. No, no. It was great. Right on time. No, I'm gonna stay here tomorrow. Yes. Yes, it's fine. No, we're going on a boat ride. Don't be silly. I'm not gonna have this conversation. Look, I'll call you tomorrow. Okay, bye. [hangs up] Never get engaged.
Jerry: You're engaged?
Laura: You know, you really have no idea what it's like until you actually do it. You know, I'm on this emotional roller coaster.
Jerry: You're engaged?
Laura: Yeah, I can't believe it myself sometimes. You have to start thinking in terms of "we", uh, it's a very stressful situation.
Jerry: You're engaged!