Kramer Quote #853
Quote from Kramer in The Van Buren Boys
Kramer: All right, so there I am at Lorenzo's, loading up my slice of the fixin's bar, garlic and what-not... And I see this guy over at the pizza boxes giving me the stink-eye. So I give him the crook-eye back, you know. Then, I notice that he's not alone. I'm taking on the entire Van Buren Boys!
Jerry: The Van Buren Boys? There's a street gang named after President Martin Van Buren?
Kramer: Oh, yeah, and they're just as mean as he was. So, I make a move to the door, you know... they block it! So, I lunged for the bathroom. I grab the knob... Occupado! Then they back me up against the cartoon map of Italy, and all of the sudden, they just stop.
Elaine: What? What happened?
Kramer: Because I'm still holding the garlic shaker. Yeah, like this. I'm only showing eight fingers.
Jerry: Well, what does that mean?
Kramer: That's their secret sign! See, Van Buren, he was the eighth President. They thought I was a former Van B. Boy!
Jerry: Wow. How was the pizza?
Kramer: It was a little oily.
Seinfeld Quotes
‘The Van Buren Boys’ Quotes
Quote from George
George: Hey, I think I may have found someone for the scholarship.
Jerry: Yeah?
George: I'm interviewing all these annoying little overachievers, and finally, this kid walks in, Steven Koren, a regular guy, likes sports, watches TV.
Jerry: Is he smart?
George: He knows how to read. And he also knows finishing an entire book doesn't prove anything. And get this. He's into architecture.
Jerry: Hey, just like you pretend to be.
George: Yes. With a little guidance, Steven Koren is going to be everything I claim to be, only for real. That's my dream, Jerry.
Quote from George
George: So, uh, Steven.. I see you're president of the chess club.
Steven: State champs.
George: Who's your favorite chess player?
Steven: [mumbles] Nastercoff?
George: Right. [mumbles] Nastercoff. What country is he from, again?
Steven: [sighs] I don't know. I made it up. [gets up to leave] I'm never gonna get this thing.
George: [gets up] Whoa, whoa, whoa. What are you telling me for? You really had me going, there! Come on, sit down. What do you want to do when you grow up?
Steven: I've been telling people that I'd like to be an architect.
Quote from J. Peterman
J. Peterman: [answers phone] Peterman, here.
Kramer: Mr. Peterson, you gotta sell me my stories back.
J. Peterman: You want to know something? I no longer need them.
Elaine: No, no. Mr. Peterman, why don't we keep them as a, as a reference?
J. Peterman: Nonsense. [to Kramer] I have Benes' wonderfully imaginative mind to spin my stories. You take back your tales, you vagabond!
Kramer: Yippie-yi-yay!
J. Peterman: [hangs up] There you are, Elaine. Go forth, and create. And, by the way, when you get to that chapter about my romantic escapades, feel free to toss yourself in the mix.