Newman Quote #124
Quote from Newman in The Big Salad
Newman: Hello, Jerry. What a rare treat. What brings you down to the east wing?
Jerry: Okay, pudgy, lets stop playing games. Now, what happened with Margaret?
Newman: There's no need to get excited. Can't we discuss this like gentlemen?
Jerry: No, we can't. My skin is crawling just being inside your little rat's nest. Now, what happened?
Newman: Do you really want to know what happened? I'll tell you what happened. She wasn't my type.
Jerry: Not your type?
Newman: Not really.
Jerry: Well, how come?
Newman: Oh, she just didn't do it for me.
Jerry: What? What is wrong with her?
Newman: Well, if you're happy with her, that's all that matters.
Jerry: You don't think she's attractive?
Newman: No. I need a really pretty face. But, hey, that's me.
Jerry: Okay, Newman, thanks a lot.
Newman: Care for some lemonade?
Jerry: No, thank you.
Newman: Drop by anytime, Jerry. [laughs]
Seinfeld Quotes
‘The Big Salad’ Quotes
Quote from Elaine
Elaine: How about if you bring me back something?
George: Sure, all right. What do you want?
Elaine: Um, hum, I don't know.. . . A big salad?
George: What big salad? I'm going to the coffee shop.
Elaine: They have big salads.
George: I've never seen a big salad.
Elaine: They have a big salad.
George: Is that what I ask for, the big salad?
Elaine: It's okay, you don't…
George: No, no. Hey I'll get it. What's in the big salad?
Jerry: Big lettuce, big carrots, tomatoes like volleyballs.
Quote from Jerry
Jerry: Newman! She went out with Newman!
Elaine: It must be a mistake.
Jerry: No, it isn't. And the most distressing part of it is not that she went out with him, but that he stopped seeing her. Do you understand? He, Newman. Newman stopped seeing her. Newman never stopped seeing anybody. Newman will see whoever is willing to see him. Not so much why she did see him as disturbing as that is. But why, did he, Newman, stop seeing her?
Elaine: Perhaps there's more to Newman than meets the eye.
Jerry: No, there's less.
Elaine: It's possible.
Jerry: No, it isn't. I've looked into his eyes. He's pure evil.
Elaine: Maybe he's an enigma, a mystery wrapped in a riddle.
Jerry: Yeah, he's a mystery wrapped in a Twinkie.
Quote from Jerry
[stand-up:]
Jerry: I find it fascinating when you go into a stationery store that they're manufacturing millions of pens, constantly. We're all buying them. I must have bought 6,000 Bics in my life. I've used up maybe two of
them. Where are the rest of them? When you move the refrigerator, there's always a couple back there but it doesn't account for it. Where are all the pens? That's why it's so embarrassing if you don't have one. "You got a pen? Can I borrow a pen?" We always have to whisper because it's so humiliating. "I don't have a pen." "They're making millions of them every week!" "I know. Where are they?"