Elaine: I've got such a headache. Oh, that's another symptom!
Kramer: Of what?
Jerry: Rabies.
Kramer: Oh, that's fatal. You don't want that!
Elaine: [grabs Kramer] I know I don't want it! I don't need you to tell me what I don't want, you stupid hipster dufus!

Dwayne: Who said anything about a discount?
Kramer: Ooh, how quickly we forget. You owe me buddy.
Dwayne: For what?
Kramer: [pulls out a candy bar] Remember this?
Dwayne: What are you doing?
Kramer: Six months ago you were eating four of those for breakfast and chasing it with a ring ding. And two butter fingers on the train. Sounds familiar?
Dwayne: Put that away!
Kramer: Remember that night I found you at Dinky Donuts? You were all hopped up on cinnamon swirls! They wouldn't serve you anymore! You wouldn't even have any teeth if it wasn't for me taking you over to Joe's fruit stand and stuff a cantaloupe down your throat! So much for gratitude. Yeah, yeah, yeah!
Dwayne: All right, all right, all right! I'll give him the discount, just put that thing away! But this squares us.

[stand-up:]
Jerry: But I want to know, when did glasses go from being this carefully crafted medical apparatus to just this mall impulse item. "Honey, I'm going out for yogurt and a pair of trifocals. You need anything?" It's always "Glasses in about an hour." "How much?" "75 bucks." "Well, here's $72. It's about $75, okay?" What are trying to coordinate it with the one-hour photo place, is that the idea? "Hurry up. Give me the glasses. My pictures are coming out right now. I need to see 'em!" Then they have those Woolworth glasses, you know, that are like...? They're there. They're there now. No eye exam. You don't have any idea what's wrong with your eyes. And the glasses are made up. They're ready and waiting for you to just walk in. "Thank you." You just walk into a wall.