Jerry Quote #577

Quote from Jerry in The Virgin

[stand-up:]
Jerry: In ancient tribal cultures, they would actually sacrifice a virgin. They thought that would do something. They would find some girl who had never been out with anybody, and they would throw her into a volcano. I mean, there's a first date you'll never forget. She winds up in heaven talking to Chuck Woolery. "So tell me, Lisa, how did the date end? "Not well, Chuck. Not well." "Well, if you'd like to be thrown into a volcano again, we'll pay for it."

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 ‘The Virgin’ Quotes

Quote from George

George: She's a virgin?
Jerry: A virgin.
George: Wow. So what're you gonna do?
Jerry: I don't know. I'm very attracted to her. That accent, it's so sexy.
George: I don't think I could do it. You know, they always remember the first time. I don't want to be remembered. I wanna be forgotten.
Jerry: You need a little pioneer spirit. You know, you don't have any of that Lewis and Clark in you.
George: You know, sometimes those guys don't make it back.

Quote from Elaine

Elaine: Look at George. He lucked out, huh?
Jerry: Oh, you're not kidding. Who'd have figured Susan would break up with him? They had a good thing going.
Elaine: Yeah, since she met him she's been vomited on, her family cabin's been burned down, she learned her father's a homosexual, and she got fired from a high paying network job. Yeah, they had a real good thing going.

Quote from George

Jerry: What's your phone call frequency? Are you on a daily?
George: No. Semi-daily. Four or five times a week.
Jerry: What about Saturday nights? Do you have to ask her out, or is a date implied?
George: Implied.
Jerry: She got anything in your medicine cabinet?
George: There might be some moisturizer.
Jerry: Uh-huh. Let me ask you this. Is there any Tampax in your house?
George: [pause] Yeah.
Jerry: Well, I'll tell you what you've got here.
George: What?
Jerry: You got yourself a girlfriend.
George: Ah, no, no. Are you sure? A girlfriend?
Jerry: I'm looking at a guy in a semi-daily with Tampax in his house and an implied date on Saturday night. I would like to help you out, but...