George Quote #432

Quote from George in The Wallet

Susan Ross: You're passing?
George: Well, it's much too low.
Susan Ross: Are you and Jerry in complete agreement on this?
George: [snorts] Ah, yeah, we've talked. I believe I can speak for the both of us on this.
Susan Ross: Because you know, because this is your first show this is a pretty standard deal.
George: Standard?
Susan Ross: Yeah.
George: Is Ted Danson's deal standard?
Susan Ross: Ted Danson?
George: You know, the guy from Cheers.
Susan Ross: Yeah, I know who he is. [laughs] You're not Ted Danson.
George: I didn't say I was Ted Danson.

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 ‘The Wallet’ Quotes

Quote from Jerry

[stand-up:]
Jerry: Don't you hate "to be continueds" on TV? It's horrible when you sense the "to be continued coming". You know, you're watching the show. You're into the story. Then there's like five minutes left, and you realize: "Hey, they can't make it. Timmy's still stuck in the cave. There's no way they wrap this up in five minutes." I mean, the whole reason you watch a TV show is because it ends. If I wanted a long, boring story with point to it, I have my life. A comedian can't do that, see? I can't go, "A man walks into a bar with a pig under his arm. Can you come back next week?"

Quote from Elaine

Elaine: He has this power over me, okay? He has this way of manipulating every little word I say. He's like a Svenjolly.
George: Svengali.
Elaine: What did I say?
Jerry: Svenjolly.
Elaine: Svenjolly? I did not say Svenjolly.
Jerry: George?
George: Svenjolly.
Elaine: I don't see how I could have said Svenjolly.
Jerry: So maybe he's got like a cheerful mental hold on you.

Quote from Jerry

[stand-up:]
Jerry: My parents had two constant arguments whilst they were driving, over either how fast my father was going or how much gas was left in the tank. My father had a standard defense for either one of these. It was always, "That's because you're looking at it from an angle. If you were over here- It looks from where you're sitting, it looks like I'm doing ninety on empty. But that's because you're over there. If you were over here, you'd know I'm in the driveway with a full tank."

 George Costanza Quotes

Quote from The Kiss Hello

George: I still don't see why I can't ask her about my arm.
Elaine: She's a physical therapist. She doesn't want to have to deal with that outside of the office.
George: Why not?
Elaine: Because it is what she does.
George: I love these people! You can't ask them questions. They're so mentally gifted that we mustn't disturb the delicate genius unless it's in the confines of an office! When huge sums of money are involved, then the delicate genius can be disturbed!
Elaine: George, you got a little something, right here.
George: [wiping face] These people think they're so important!

Quote from The Bubble Boy

Donald: [o.s.] Okay, history. This is for the game. How you doing over there? Not too good.
George: All right, bubble boy. Let's just play. "Who invaded Spain in the 8th century?"
Donald: That's a joke. The Moors.
George: Oh, no. I'm so sorry. It's the "Moops". The correct answer is, the "Moops".
Donald: Moops? Let me see that. [takes card with gloved hand] That's not Moops, you jerk. That's Moors. It's a misprint.
George: I'm sorry. The card says Moops.
Donald: It doesn't matter. It's Moors. There's no Moops.
George: It's Moops.

Quote from The Andrea Doria

George: I was handcuffed to the bed in my underwear, where I remained... [cut] She certainly seemed interested in me. Though she was attractive, she was also, in fact, a Nazi... [cut] The water that I had been swimming in was very cold. And, when I dropped the towel, there had been significant shrinkage... [cut] Her parents were looking at me. So, there I was, with a marble rye hanging from the end of a fishing pole... [cut] In closing, these stories have not been embellished, because they need no embellishment. They are simply, horrifyingly, the story of my life as a short, stocky, slow-witted bald man. Thank you. [gets up] Oh, also, my fiance died from licking toxic envelopes that I picked out. [The board members sob and cry] Thanks again. [walks out]