Jerry Quote #507
Quote from Jerry in The Wallet
[stand-up:]
Jerry: My parents had two constant arguments whilst they were driving, over either how fast my father was going or how much gas was left in the tank. My father had a standard defense for either one of these. It was always, "That's because you're looking at it from an angle. If you were over here- It looks from where you're sitting, it looks like I'm doing ninety on empty. But that's because you're over there. If you were over here, you'd know I'm in the driveway with a full tank."
Seinfeld Quotes
‘The Wallet’ Quotes
Quote from Jerry
[stand-up:]
Jerry: Don't you hate "to be continueds" on TV? It's horrible when you sense the "to be continued coming". You know, you're watching the show. You're into the story. Then there's like five minutes left, and you realize: "Hey, they can't make it. Timmy's still stuck in the cave. There's no way they wrap this up in five minutes." I mean, the whole reason you watch a TV show is because it ends. If I wanted a long, boring story with point to it, I have my life. A comedian can't do that, see? I can't go, "A man walks into a bar with a pig under his arm. Can you come back next week?"
Quote from Elaine
Elaine: He has this power over me, okay? He has this way of manipulating every little word I say. He's like a Svenjolly.
George: Svengali.
Elaine: What did I say?
Jerry: Svenjolly.
Elaine: Svenjolly? I did not say Svenjolly.
Jerry: George?
George: Svenjolly.
Elaine: I don't see how I could have said Svenjolly.
Jerry: So maybe he's got like a cheerful mental hold on you.
Quote from Kramer
Jerry: [over intercom] Yes?
Voice: [intercom] Federal Express.
Jerry: Federal Express? Come on up. [to the guys] Federal Express? I'm not expecting a package.
Kramer: Woo, you know what you just did? You let a burglar into the building.
Jerry: You think so?
Kramer: Federal Express? Of course. It's the oldest trick in the book. You know it might not be a burglar. It might be a murderer.
Jerry: So you want us to abolish all home package deliveries?
Kramer: Yes. It's dangerous.