George Quote #207
Monica: What happened to the test?
George: What? Oh, I spilled some food on it.
Monica: Food? What food?
George: What are you talking about?
Monica: Where did you get food?
George: From my pocket.
Monica: What?
George: I, uh... I had a sandwich in my pocket.
Monica: And coffee?
George: Yeah. Had some coffee, yeah.
Monica: Where did you get the coffee?
George: Where did I get the coffee? Where do think I got the coffee? At the grocery store.
Monica: How did you get there?
George: I walked.
Monica: How did you get out of the apartment? I didn't see you leave.
George: I climbed out the window.
Monica: You climbed out the window?
George: Of course.
Monica: Why didn't you go out the door?
George: The door? Why would I go out the door? The window is right here.
Monica: You are a fascinating man, George Costanza.
Seinfeld Quotes
‘The Cafe’ Quotes
Quote from Kramer
Kramer: Anyway, it's been two years. I mean isn't there like statue of limitations on that?
Jerry: Statute.
Kramer: What?
Jerry: Statute of limitations. It's not a statue.
Kramer: No, it's statue.
Jerry: Fine, it's a sculpture of limitations.
Kramer: Just wait a minute. Elaine, Elaine! Now, you're smart, is it statue or statute of limitations?
Elaine: Statute.
Kramer: Oh, I really think you're wrong.
Quote from Jerry
[stand-up:]
Jerry: You know, there's always that one location, one store location that's constantly changing hands. Everybody has this in their neighborhood. It's a leather store, then it's a yogurt shop, it's a pet supply. It's constantly changing and nobody can do business there. It's like some sort of Bermuda triangle of retail, you know? Stores open up and then they just disappear without a trace. Nobody knows what happened to 'em. I guess eventually, when, like, aliens land in mother ship of close encounters, bottom will slowly open and all these store owners will come wondering out in a daze going, "I thought there would be more walk-in traffic didn't you?"
Quote from Jerry
[stand-up:]
Jerry: It's tough to do a good deed. Let's lok at your professional good deed doers. Your Lone Rangers, your Supermen, your Batmen, your Spidermen, your Elasticmen. They are all wearing disguises. Masks over their faces. Secret identities. Don't want people to know who they are. It's too much aggravation. "Superman, yeah, thanks for saving my life, but did you have to come through my wall? I'm renting here. They've got a security deposit. What am I supposed to do?"