Kramer Quote #456
Quote from Kramer in The Big Salad
Kramer: Turn on the TV.
Jerry: What?
Kramer: Put it on! Put it on!
Newscaster: [on TV] Neither the district attorney's office and the police department have answered any questions as yet. To repeat, in case you're just joining us, former baseball star Steve Gendarson, has been taken to Police headquarters for questioning the murder of Bobby Pinkus, the owner of Royal Dry Cleaners at 2759 Amsterdam Avenue. According to Pinkus' wife, Gendason had been involved in a dispute with the cleaner about a stain on a pair of gray Sans-A-Belt slacks. We also have a report that earlier in the day a groundskeeper at Van Cortland's Golf Course reportedly saw an irate Gendason leaving the clubhouse in a huff. Whether there is a possible connection between the two is something we'll just have to wait and find out.
Kramer: Jerry!
Jerry: Well, it had nothing to do with you.
Kramer: Yeah, but maybe he was so mad from the penalty stroke that he murdered the dry cleaner.
Jerry: Well, generally speaking you don't need any extra incentive to murder a dry cleaner. I wouldn't worry about that.
Seinfeld Quotes
‘The Big Salad’ Quotes
Quote from Elaine
Elaine: How about if you bring me back something?
George: Sure, all right. What do you want?
Elaine: Um, hum, I don't know.. . . A big salad?
George: What big salad? I'm going to the coffee shop.
Elaine: They have big salads.
George: I've never seen a big salad.
Elaine: They have a big salad.
George: Is that what I ask for, the big salad?
Elaine: It's okay, you don't…
George: No, no. Hey I'll get it. What's in the big salad?
Jerry: Big lettuce, big carrots, tomatoes like volleyballs.
Quote from Jerry
Jerry: Newman! She went out with Newman!
Elaine: It must be a mistake.
Jerry: No, it isn't. And the most distressing part of it is not that she went out with him, but that he stopped seeing her. Do you understand? He, Newman. Newman stopped seeing her. Newman never stopped seeing anybody. Newman will see whoever is willing to see him. Not so much why she did see him as disturbing as that is. But why, did he, Newman, stop seeing her?
Elaine: Perhaps there's more to Newman than meets the eye.
Jerry: No, there's less.
Elaine: It's possible.
Jerry: No, it isn't. I've looked into his eyes. He's pure evil.
Elaine: Maybe he's an enigma, a mystery wrapped in a riddle.
Jerry: Yeah, he's a mystery wrapped in a Twinkie.
Quote from Jerry
[stand-up:]
Jerry: I find it fascinating when you go into a stationery store that they're manufacturing millions of pens, constantly. We're all buying them. I must have bought 6,000 Bics in my life. I've used up maybe two of
them. Where are the rest of them? When you move the refrigerator, there's always a couple back there but it doesn't account for it. Where are all the pens? That's why it's so embarrassing if you don't have one. "You got a pen? Can I borrow a pen?" We always have to whisper because it's so humiliating. "I don't have a pen." "They're making millions of them every week!" "I know. Where are they?"