Morty Seinfeld Quote #26
Quote from Morty Seinfeld in The Wallet
Morty Seinfeld: All right, all right, let's go already. [to himself] They keep you in here a year. They don't give a damn. I could die in here. Excuse me! Excuse me! What's going on? I'm here twenty minutes. Could somebody please help me.
Helen Seinfeld: [enters] Shh. Quiet! Everyone can hear you.
Morty Seinfeld: Twenty minutes. I've been waiting twenty minutes.
Helen Seinfeld: Well, the doctor must be busy.
Morty Seinfeld: Well, what do they make appointments for if they can't keep them. Look, if I did that in my business I wouldn't have made a nickel.
Nurse: Hello, Mr. Seinfeld.
Morty Seinfeld: I thought you forgot about me.
Nurse: We didn't forget. [pulls apart blood pressure cuff]
Morty Seinfeld: Ah! It's Velcro. I can't stand Velcro. It's that tearing sound. I used to be in raincoats. I refused to put that in any of my lines.
Nurse: Okay, Mr. Seinfeld, please come this way. We need some X-rays.
Morty Seinfeld: Leave all my stuff here?
Nurse: Leave it.
Seinfeld Quotes
‘The Wallet’ Quotes
Quote from Elaine
Elaine: He has this power over me, okay? He has this way of manipulating every little word I say. He's like a Svenjolly.
George: Svengali.
Elaine: What did I say?
Jerry: Svenjolly.
Elaine: Svenjolly? I did not say Svenjolly.
Jerry: George?
George: Svenjolly.
Elaine: I don't see how I could have said Svenjolly.
Jerry: So maybe he's got like a cheerful mental hold on you.
Quote from Jerry
[stand-up:]
Jerry: Don't you hate "to be continueds" on TV? It's horrible when you sense the "to be continued coming". You know, you're watching the show. You're into the story. Then there's like five minutes left, and you realize: "Hey, they can't make it. Timmy's still stuck in the cave. There's no way they wrap this up in five minutes." I mean, the whole reason you watch a TV show is because it ends. If I wanted a long, boring story with point to it, I have my life. A comedian can't do that, see? I can't go, "A man walks into a bar with a pig under his arm. Can you come back next week?"
Quote from Jerry
[stand-up:]
Jerry: My parents had two constant arguments whilst they were driving, over either how fast my father was going or how much gas was left in the tank. My father had a standard defense for either one of these. It was always, "That's because you're looking at it from an angle. If you were over here- It looks from where you're sitting, it looks like I'm doing ninety on empty. But that's because you're over there. If you were over here, you'd know I'm in the driveway with a full tank."