George Quote #56

Quote from George in The Phone Message

George: Everything was going along so great: she was laughing, I was funny. I kept saying to myself "Keep it up, don't blow it, you're doing great."
Elaine: It's all in your head. All she knows is she had a good time. I think you should call her.
George: I can't call her now, it's too soon. I'm planning a Wednesday call.
Elaine: Oh, why? I love it when guys call me the next day.
George: Of course you do, but you're imagining a guy you like, not a guy who goes, [goofy voice] "Oh no, I don't drink coffee late at night." If I call her now, she's gonna think I'm too needy. Women don't wanna see needy. They want a take-charge guy; a colonel, a kaiser, a tsar.
Elaine: All she'll think is that you like her.
George: That's what I'm trying to avoid.
Elaine: She wants you to like her.
George: Yes, she wants me to like her, if she likes me, but she doesn't like me!
Elaine: I don't know what your parents did to you.

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 ‘The Phone Message’ Quotes

Quote from George

George: I can't stand doing laundry. That's why I have forty pairs of underwear.
Carol: You do not.
George: Absolutely. Because instead of doing a wash, I just keep buying underwear. My goal is to have over three hundred and sixty pair. That way, I only have to do wash once a year.

Quote from Elaine

Jerry: I'm supposed to see her again on Thursday, but can I go out with someone who actually likes this commercial.
Elaine: I once broke up with a guy because he didn't keep his bathroom clean enough.
Jerry: No kidding. Did you tell him that was the reason?
Elaine: Oh yeah, I told him all the time. You would not have believed his tub. Germs were building a town in there. They were constructing offices. Houses near the drain were going for $150,000.

Quote from Jerry

[stand-up:]
Jerry: The bad thing about television is that everybody you see on television is doing something better than what you're doing. Did you ever see anybody on TV like just sliding off the front of the sofa with potato chip crumbs on their face? Some people have a little too much fun on television: the soda commercial people. Where do they summon this enthusiasm? Have you seen them? "We have soda, we have soda, we have soda", jumping, laughing, flying through the air. It's a can of soda. Have you ever been standing there and you're watching TV and you're drinking the exact same product that they're advertising right there on TV? And it's like, you know, they're spiking volleyballs, jet-skiing, girls in bikinis and I'm standing there... "Maybe I'm putting too much ice in mine."