[stand-up:]
Jerry: The bad thing about television is that everybody you see on television is doing something better than what you're doing. Did you ever see anybody on TV like just sliding off the front of the sofa with potato chip crumbs on their face? Some people have a little too much fun on television: the soda commercial people. Where do they summon this enthusiasm? Have you seen them? "We have soda, we have soda, we have soda", jumping, laughing, flying through the air. It's a can of soda. Have you ever been standing there and you're watching TV and you're drinking the exact same product that they're advertising right there on TV? And it's like, you know, they're spiking volleyballs, jet-skiing, girls in bikinis and I'm standing there... "Maybe I'm putting too much ice in mine."