Jerry Quote #1050
Quote from Jerry in The Gymnast
[stand-up:]
Jerry: I've never been able to figure out why they make these bizarre toilet seats that they have. You know, like those clear Lucite ones, with all the, the coins in it? It's a lovely tribute to our past president, by the way. It's not bad enough Lincoln got shot in the head, we gotta pull down our pants and sit on him, too. It's just incomprehensible that you would buy a thing like this. You install it on your toilet seat. And this says what about you? "Well, I can't afford to just throw money down the toilet, but look how close I am!"
Seinfeld Quotes
‘The Gymnast’ Quotes
Quote from George
Jerry: So let me get this straight. You find yourself in the kitchen. You see an eclair, in the receptacle. And you think to yourself, "What the hell, I'll just eat some trash."
George: No, no. No, no, no. It was not trash!
Jerry: Was it in the trash?
George: Yes.
Jerry: Then it was trash.
George: It wasn't down in, it was sort of on top.
Jerry: But it was in the cylinder!
George: Above the rim.
Jerry: Adjacent to refuse, is refuse.
George: It was on a magazine! And it still had the doily on.
Jerry: Was it eaten?
George: One little bite.
Jerry: Well, that's garbage.
George: But I know who took the bite. It was her aunt!
Jerry: Well, you, my friend, have crossed the line that divides man and bum. You are now a bum.
Quote from George
George: [buttoning his shirt] A gymnast! I can't believe it, you didn't tell me she was a gymnast.
Jerry: What is this?
George: What? I'm putting my shirt back on.
Jerry: "Back on"? What was it doing off?
George: I take it off when I go to the, uh... You know, to "the office".
Jerry: What for?
George: Well, it frees me up. No encumbrances.
Jerry: Unbuttoned, or all the way off?
George: All the way, baby!
Quote from Elaine
Mr. Pitt: I have been accused of wrong-doing. But these false accusations will not deter us. We will annex Poland by the Spring, at any cost! And our stock will rise high! [salutes]