[stand-up:]
Jerry: I've never been able to figure out why they make these bizarre toilet seats that they have. You know, like those clear Lucite ones, with all the, the coins in it? It's a lovely tribute to our past president, by the way. It's not bad enough Lincoln got shot in the head, we gotta pull down our pants and sit on him, too. It's just incomprehensible that you would buy a thing like this. You install it on your toilet seat. And this says what about you? "Well, I can't afford to just throw money down the toilet, but look how close I am!"