Jerry Quote #945
Jerry: Honey, what'd you do with the can opener?
Meryl: I didn't do anything with it.
Jerry: Well, it's not here, it was here yesterday.
Meryl: It's in the first drawer.
Jerry: I'm looking in the first drawer. It's not here.
Meryl: Yes, it is.
Jerry: Hey, I'm not stupid. I'm looking in that drawer. There's no can opener.
Meryl: Did I say you were stupid?
Jerry: Well, wouldn't I have to be? You tell me there's a can opener in the drawer, I'm looking in the drawer, there's no can opener, what other conclusion could one reach? [phone rings]
Meryl: Do you want me to go find it?
Jerry: Yes. I do. You show me where there's a can opener in that drawer. [answers the phone] Hello! I'm sorry, I'm just fighting with my wife.
Seinfeld Quotes
‘The Wife’ Quotes
Quote from George
George: Well, what was I supposed to do? Get out of the shower, put on my bathrobe? Go all the way down to the other end? Come all the way back?
Elaine: Did you ever hear of... holding it in?
George: Oh, no... No, that's very bad for the kidneys.
Elaine: How do you know?
George: Medical journals!
Jerry: Do the medical journals mention anything about standing in a pool of someone else's urine?
Quote from George
George: Could it be because you don't want him to know that you have a friend who pees in the shower, is that it?!
Elaine: No, that's not it!
George: Oh, I think it is! I think that's exactly what it is!
Elaine: Why couldn't you just wait?
George: I was there! I saw a drain!
Elaine: Since when is a drain a toilet?!
George: It's all pipes! What's the difference?!
Elaine: Different pipes go to different places! You're gonna mix 'em up!
George: I'll call a plumber right now!
Quote from George
Elaine: Mmm, what happened?
George: Nothing, I said it was a little problem.
Elaine: Yeah? What was it?
George: Well, I was in the locker room showering, and I... I had to go, so...
Jerry: Here we go.
George: Anyway, I think the guy in the shower opposite saw me. He even gave me a dirty look.
Elaine: You went... in the shower?
George: Yeah, so what? I'm not the only one!