Jerry Quote #704
Quote from Jerry in The Smelly Car
Jerry: So, this morning I go down to the garage to check the car out. I figure by this time, the odor molecules have had at least twelve hours to "de-smellify". I open the car door, like a punch in the face, the stench hits me. It's almost as if it had gained strength throughout the night.
Elaine: You know, I can think of at least six known offensive odors that I would rather smell than what's living in your car.
Jerry: What about skunk?
Elaine: I don't mind skunk.
Jerry: Horse manure?
Elaine: I love horse manure.
Jerry: Well, I've never seen anything like this in my life. In fact, I went to the car wash, they want 250 dollars to detail it, and get the smell out. I'm not paying for that. That's not my responsibility. In fact, I'm driving up to that restaurant now, and demand they pay for it.
Seinfeld Quotes
‘The Smelly Car’ Quotes
Quote from Jerry
[stand-up:]
Jerry: Whenever you ask for a doggy bag in a restaurant, there's a certain sense of failure there, isn't there? People always whisper it to the waiter, don't they? [quietly] "Uh, excuse me. I'm sorry, you're gonna have to give me the doggy bag. I couldn't make it." And it is embarrassing, because a doggie bag means either you are out at a restaurant when you aren't hungry, or you've chosen the stupidest possible way to get dog food that there is. How about the doggie bag on a date? That's a good move for a guy, huh? Let me tell you something: if you're a guy and you ask for the doggie bag on a date, you might as well have them just wrap up your genitals too. You're not going to be needing those for awhile, either.
Quote from Jerry
Jerry: Boy, do you smell something?
Elaine: Do I smell something? What am I, hard of smelling? Of course I smell something.
Jerry: What is it?
Elaine: I think it's B.O.!
Jerry: What?
Elaine: It's B.O. The valet must have had B.O.
Jerry: It can't be. Nobody has B.O. like this.
Elaine: Jerry. It's B.O.
Jerry: But the whole car smells.
Elaine: So?
Jerry: So when somebody has B.O., the "O" usually stays with the "B". Once the "B" leaves, the "O" goes with it.
Quote from Jerry
Jerry: It still smells!
George: How could it still smell after all that?
Jerry: I don't know!
George: Well, what are you gonna do?
Jerry: I'll tell you what I'm gonna do, I'm selling that car!
George: You're selling the car!?
Jerry: You don't understand what I'm up against. This is a force more powerful than anything you can imagine. Even Superman would be helpless against this kind of stench. And I'll take anything I can get for it.
George: Maybe I'll buy it.
Jerry: Are you crazy? Don't you understand what I'm saying to you? This is not just an odor. You need a priest to get rid of this thing!
Elaine: [enters] I still smell!
Jerry: You see! You see what I'm saying to you? It's a presence! It's the beast!