Jerry Quote #703
Quote from Jerry in The Smelly Car
Jerry: Boy, do you smell something?
Elaine: Do I smell something? What am I, hard of smelling? Of course I smell something.
Jerry: What is it?
Elaine: I think it's B.O.!
Jerry: What?
Elaine: It's B.O. The valet must have had B.O.
Jerry: It can't be. Nobody has B.O. like this.
Elaine: Jerry. It's B.O.
Jerry: But the whole car smells.
Elaine: So?
Jerry: So when somebody has B.O., the "O" usually stays with the "B". Once the "B" leaves, the "O" goes with it.
Seinfeld Quotes
‘The Smelly Car’ Quotes
Quote from Jerry
[stand-up:]
Jerry: Whenever you ask for a doggy bag in a restaurant, there's a certain sense of failure there, isn't there? People always whisper it to the waiter, don't they? [quietly] "Uh, excuse me. I'm sorry, you're gonna have to give me the doggy bag. I couldn't make it." And it is embarrassing, because a doggie bag means either you are out at a restaurant when you aren't hungry, or you've chosen the stupidest possible way to get dog food that there is. How about the doggie bag on a date? That's a good move for a guy, huh? Let me tell you something: if you're a guy and you ask for the doggie bag on a date, you might as well have them just wrap up your genitals too. You're not going to be needing those for awhile, either.
Quote from Jerry
Jerry: It still smells!
George: How could it still smell after all that?
Jerry: I don't know!
George: Well, what are you gonna do?
Jerry: I'll tell you what I'm gonna do, I'm selling that car!
George: You're selling the car!?
Jerry: You don't understand what I'm up against. This is a force more powerful than anything you can imagine. Even Superman would be helpless against this kind of stench. And I'll take anything I can get for it.
George: Maybe I'll buy it.
Jerry: Are you crazy? Don't you understand what I'm saying to you? This is not just an odor. You need a priest to get rid of this thing!
Elaine: [enters] I still smell!
Jerry: You see! You see what I'm saying to you? It's a presence! It's the beast!
Quote from Jerry
[stand-up:]
Jerry: Why do we need B.O.? What is the function of it? Everything in nature has a reason, has a purpose, except B.O. Doesn't make any sense. Do something good: hard work, exercise; smell very bad. This is the way the human being is designed. You move, you stink. Why can't our bodies help us? Why can't sweat smell good? It'd be a different world, wouldn't it? Instead of putting your laundry in the hamper, you put it in a vase. You go down to the drugstore and pick up some odorant and perspirant. You probably have a dirty sweat sock hanging from the rear-view mirror of your car. And then on a really special night, maybe a little underwear coming out of your breast pocket. Just to let her know she's important.